"NO"

It is just a two-letter word, but not a dirty one. It
is the simplest thing to say, yet we hesitate to say
it. The inability to say NO can cause mental stress?we
do not want to do something, yet we cannot refuse, as
we always want to be good. The moment I learnt to say
NO I become happy person and now I can say NO to
people without any guilt.

1. PRACTICE SAYING NO
I have a photo in my office, which shows Rama looking
at the golden deer that Sita is pointing at. If only
Rama had said NO, he could have saved Sita and many
other headaches and heartaches! Saying NO without
hurting others is a skill. When my wife requested me
to purchase a Toyota, I had to say NO because I
already have a Honda City, and thus saved myself from
the stress I could have experienced while trying to
repay the loan I would have taken. If you say no once
you will get used to the word and will say it with
ease and without guilt.

2. GIVE PRIORITY TO YOURSELF
Think about your needs and wellbeing first. There is
nothing bad about it. Don not feel guilty. Recently a
close relative asked me for a loan of Rs 3 lakh for a
year. Although he had promised to repay the loan in
time and with interest, I said NO and saved myself
from sleepless nights, thinking about the
possibilities of not getting back the money. I also
saved myself from straining the relationship in the
long run.

3. IT REQUIRES DETERMINATION
Years ago, I did not say NO to alcohol and sweets,
which could have saved me from pancreas surgery and
two heart bypasses, followed by diabetes, blood
pressure, glaucoma, and what not! Ten years ago I
learnt to say no to all such goodies and here I am
today, fit as a fiddle. Similarly, saying no to a
friend or a relative also requires determination. Once
you are determined you do not want to give any more,
your day is mad

4. REALISE THE WEAKNESS
of not been able to say no. If Yudhistir had said no
to gambling, Mahabharata wouldn?t have happened.
Realise that you need to set boundaries for yourself
and allowing anybody to overstep will be harmful. Your
no should be a firm one and don?t give up under
pressure.

5. STICK TO YOUR PLAN
If saying YES to someone throws your other plans to
the wind, ask yourself if it is worth it. You can say
no to parties if you have other plans. Just because
you have been invited does not mean you have to go.
Learn to do things that make you happy.

6. EXPLAIN YOUR REASON
Tell your friend why you are unable to do the work for
her. Make it clear that your reason to say no is not
unreasonable. Since I have learnt to say NO to my
friends and relatives?of course, when I feel it is not
possible to accommodate their requests, I am a happier
person living without guilt.

7. NO CAN BE BENEFICIAL
Do not let anybody take you for granted. Saying NO is
your right. Let others respect your right.

8. BUY TIME
If you hesitate to say NO, then buy some time. If you
cannot say no to the person directly, tell him to give
you some time to think. Get back him later and tell
him politely that you could not accommodate his
request.