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Friday, May 22, 2009

KIDS!! Don't mess with them!!


7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him '.

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother
had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, 'Momma? you must have been a very very bad girl. Grandma's
hairs are ALL white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's
a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the
teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on
my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching
the apples.

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